What can we do for people experiencing grief?

"Grief never ends... But it changes.

It's a passage, not a place to stay.

Grief is not a sign of weakness.

Nor a lack of faith...

It is the price of love."

~Author Unknown

So what CAN one do for those in the throes of grief?

Harvard Health, among several other grief resources that I researched, recommends encouraging the person feeling the immense weight of grief to talk about their loved one, how they met, what the loved about them and the funny things that person did.

It is our job to support them by being ready to listen for perhaps years, as they are going to want to relive and retell their stories keeping the memories fresh and loving the person even through they have passed on.

Refrain from asking frustrating questions like "How are you?" when you know the answer is they are in terrible pain.

Don't:

Try to fix them because this makes them feel like they are "less-than", diminished, or judged.

Share your own grief experience because this makes them feel like thier experience is not as important. Or they resent you bringing your pain into theirs.

Try to find the perfect words to make them feel better.

Instead:

Share your understanding that grief is a long journey, that they will grieve for just as long as they need to and this stage should never be rushed.

Tell them how strong they are, how proud you are of them, share the aspects of their personality that impresses you.

Grief takes the stuffing right out of a person and it takes a lot of positive reinforcement to fill back up. Yet overly sunny personalities can be an irritant to someone in pain.

Offering your services, or your time is nice but, honestly, asking them to reach out when they need help isn't going to cut it.

“ Hope does not lie in a way out,

but in a way through.”

~ Robert Frost

You need to Be There.

This means:

Not just inviting them over "sometime", but suggesting specific dates and times. Drop off helpful items like special bathing supplies, easy-to-digest meals, snacks and treats. Frozen, ready to heat meals are also very helpful because people in pain are not in a position to care about food or make decisions.
Invite yourself over: "can I drop by today at 3 for a few minutes?". When you come by, bring the lawn mower along to tend to the lawn or bring a potted plant along, walk their dog while you are there.
Purchasing a gift certificate for several lawn service sessions, house cleaning services or massage services are also great ideas.

I'm going to include a list of resources below for people to check out however I'm curious what our readers are feeling right now...

So leave a comment here on this blog to let me know.

You might have a resource or suggest a tip for anyone looking into ways they can support others who are experiencing the heavy weight of grief.

Leave your comment here, and please be sure to share this post.... there are many out there who are hurting right now.

Resources:

In Her Time Of Grief, article

The Weight Of Grief, article

The Elephant Visit, poem

Follow us & find our Books:

on Amazon

Visit:

Drum It With Brummet Blog