A Stranger's Kindness
In today's blog post I'd like to remind our readers that each moment, each breath is a chance to leave a positive legacy. You never know the effect of a gentle, supportive, momentary smile from across the board room can be to the person feeling overwhelmed, shy, or stressed. You never know whether that quick mention of something you appreciate about your brother can affect how he feels about himself for the rest of his life. Sometimes, it is the smallest things that hit us the deepest. I'd like to share a story of one such event in my life.
I was 12, having recently returned from a small boarding school in the Canadian North when one of the kindest acts happened that left a permanent impact.
It all began when my mother's 3rd marriage went sour; the man was an alcoholic and had been bullying my brothers - who left before they were 16 years old, and that is when his undesirable attentions were turned to me. Finally I convinced her he was doing this but she was too exhausted to deal with it in the way a mother should - by leaving and protecting her child. Instead, she stayed and I was sent away for 2 years to live with strangers in a farming community with a private school. During that time I only came back to visit her once... a long, 2-day travel by bus - alone, sitting at stations alone... finally making it "home" to find they didn't have a room for me and I was to sleep under the kitchen table. I felt unwanted, unloved and ever so angry while he watched sports, got drunker and yelled about religion.
Eventually when he had no one else to push around or abuse, he turned to her and she saw what a monster he was. THEN she left him and brought me back to live with her. All of a sudden I became her cheerleader, her support system and her soft place to fall - all of which are positions that an adult should have taken, these were definitely positions that were too heavy for a child.
While being her best friend, I was also a weight, and I felt like an unwanted visitor. My damaged mother wanted us to bond and be like the characters in the books she read... but it wasn't to be so. I was angry, hurt, scared, and never knew stability or a loving family life. We tried to act like partners and I became her confidant... which no child should ever be.
Most people had chores, but I also cleaned the entire house, tended the garden and went to school, made most of our dinners and I also worked little jobs for money to pay for my own clothing and school expenses. She also worked but spent her free time dating more crappy men. Men always took precedence.
We had yet another fight and I was on the street crying in an alley. This stranger stopped and I could tell he was really moved by the scene in front of his eyes... he was visibly hurting from the sight of me in the alley and genuinely wanted to help. He asked me if I was all right and wanted to stay and do something... he was reluctant to move on, but did. His act of kindness sent a shock of realization that this stranger genuinely cared... something I had never been aware of before. It has stayed with me since then; I've never forgotten it. A short time after this event I would be on my own at 13.5 years of age, and I would turn to that memory of this stranger's kindness many times.
Find us online via these landing pages:
~~~
Comments
Post a Comment
Thank you for your comment!
http://www.twitter.com/brummet
http://www.facebook.com/lillian.brummet
http://www.linkedin.com/in/ldbrummet