When I was a guest on the The Opinionated Podcast the host said something that had me thinking...
"When people are in abused situations they often feel guilt, and they hold on that guilt and feel like they will be judged. It is must be so hard for victims to come forward with something like that."
It is hard, and it is an on-going journey. You think that you are over it and then all of a sudden something comes up and you realize - "oh - ok here is another healing journey I get to go on, (Yay) another mountain I get to climb". But you have to be patient with the process and the people around you have to be patient too. Granted there are people out there who will hang on to their pain and use it as a crutch so that they don't have to face the challenge of their own fears and overcome the walls they built up for themselves and live a full life. Basically they are their own abuser, they have agreed to do this - not consciously - but they do make that decision.
Their inner judge, inner critic, or inner saboteur keeps them in that cycle and they willingly allow that to happen because it takes a huge amount of courage to say: "I am going to take that fish hook that THEY put into me and I am going to allow that wound to heal. Yeah maybe I need to go to therapy, cleanse it, allow time for it to heal, maybe open and let it ooze and let it heal again just like I would with an open wound on my body. And yes there is a scar, but that scar does not define me. It is here, it happened. And because it happened I am the person I am today".
You come to a place of , not being grateful it happened or forgiving of the hurt, but you are letting it go in a positive way. You realize that it does not have to continue and that you can move on. You come to a place of "this does not define me, and is not an excuse for not moving forward."
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