Pondering thoughts

Pondering Thoughts

Whenever I get to a stressed level in my life - you know, when you have a permanent frown inside even though you may appear alright to the world... Well, when that happens, I find myself recalling some of the best advice gleaned from a lifetime of encounters with people who knew better than I (which is a lot - ha ha) and I wanted to share some of those bits of advice in this mini-series of posts I'm releasing every 10 or 11 days or so titled: Pondering Thoughts.

So the first was "Start How You Mean To Continue", followed by "Doing It Right The First Time" and then a small piece about Patience With The Process.


...and today we'll look at: 

Always listen to others because what you want to say, you already know.

How many times have you had a conversation and you found yourself interrupting. Perhaps you don't even notice you have done so. Maybe you only notice someone else doing the "interrupting". Believe it or not - You probably do it. We ALL do it. 

The thing is - we are geared to be wound up and ready with a come-back, some witty response, some ground-breaking piece of advice... something that makes us feel wise or like we are oh-so helpful. 

Sadly, with our busy minds just a-going while someone is talking - we are missing out on information. We are missing out on the experience they are sharing. We are missing out on bonding with them. Sometimes there are reasons why we might be drifting off... perhaps we aren't really all that interested in that topic - but remember that this person is interested, and that is important too. 

There are times when the person is just expressing... they don't want advice, they don't want to be judged or wound up or anything. In this situation the person just wants to get whatever it is off their chest. They just need to talk it out. So let them. This is an especially important time to just keep mostly quiet; let them know what they are feeling is accepted by you and you can offer comfort.

For those of us who are less practiced at responding - instead of reacting - in conversations... here's what we've discovered: 

• Learn how to ask questions that prompt the person to explain further. 
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• Discover what influenced them. 
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• Find out the process they used to obtain the information. 
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• Feel connected with them as you prompt them to express emotion. 
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• Reach out and complement people when you have been impacted in some way by what they said. 
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• Take notes if they mention a resource for you to check out.
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• Discover the process they use in creating the product; perhaps they have found time-saving ways of handling things or they have stumbled upon ways of preventing injury.
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• Find just a few words to recap what they are saying in your own words so that they have the chance to clarify where you are not getting it, or they have the chance to agree that yes - that's where they were going with the topic.
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• Talk about hypothetical situations where their ideas, plans, thoughts could be applied that they may not have considered. 

You know, quite often, people don't even know how much wisdom they have to share, and perhaps your questions and prompting statements, your camaraderie in the conversation helps them discover something in themselves too. 

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